Good Finnish jokes in English

[Balam-Acab]

Angus MacGyver and Mikko Alatalo shared a table while drinking beer in the pub. Eventually, Mikko Alatalo had to urinate, and he asked MacGyver to keep an eye on his unfinished beer while he'd visit the toilet. Upon returning from doing his business, Mikko Alatalo found that MacGyver had drunk the beer he was supposed to guard. "Well, you certainly are Wonderman!", he exclaimed.

Note: this joke is often told with someone else in place of Mikko Alatalo, but this is the version I first heard.

[Balam-Acab]

Joke 1:
A man walked down the street with a tell-tale wet spot on and below the crotch of his pants. He passed a friend, who informed him: "Hey, it looks like there's piss in your pants." – "And shit", the man answered.

Joke 2:
A man was violently shaken awake in the morning by the host of a drinking party that had taken place the night before. His hangover was terrible and the host didn't seem to be too happy either. "What's wrong with you?", the furious host asked. "People have been telling me that it was you who wrecked the furniture, pissed on the sauna stove, took a dump in the pool, and not only that, but also fucked my poor dog in the ass!" – "And the cat as well", answered the man.

[käyt.nimim.PELTO]

What is bright and smells like shit?

Kirka´s shit!

[Nice-T]

What Michael jackson do in elevator? He push the button.

What micheal jackson say when his arm is broken? "No we have to put a splint"

[RIP sinä?]

Ossi cleaned the living room, Maarit Salin.

[PartyHitler2008]

Ossi cleaned the living room, Maarit Salin.

last week I saw the guy who played Jukka Salin

[Hikinen Möhömaha]

What Michael jackson do in elevator? He push the button.

What micheal jackson say when his arm is broken? "No we have to put a splint"

Sorry bro, but these are not in english. Try harder, please.

[Buddy Love]

Q. What happened when Tauno Palo and Jerry Lewis had a car crash?
A. Tauno burned and Jerry got wider.

[töpäkkä olemus]

-

[Ripuli puheen johtaja]

Kimmo Kinnunen went to sauna and saw his fathers Jorma's dick's cock.

I don´t get this. Some kind of downhead humor?

[(=^ェ^=)]

What did an astronaut say to a skeleton he met on the moon?
"What are you hearing?"

[Buddy Love]

Q: What did Jesus say when at Christmas as a birthday present he got a pair of cross-country skis?
A: Yeah, cross-country skis!

[käyt.nimim.PELTO]

What is in common with toothpaste and blonde?

They both foam when you put them in the mouth.

[Adenius]

Steve Harris and Bruce Dickinson went fishing. Bruce caught a pike and said to Steve: "Look! A shark!" Steve said:"No, it's a pike.". Bruce said:"So it's not a shark then."

How about some finnish puns in english:

- A fishing man is a nice man.
- Mr. Kosti Vala went to see his friend. The friend offered Kosti a seat by saying:"Oh a chair. Hey Kosti Vala, sit.". Mr Vala just stood there because he heard:"The street was badly illuminated."
- A prisoner had a black belt while escaping.
- Sick people fill up the hospitals.
- Bring the coffer to the market place. And a chair to the vicar.

More later. My fingers get tired easily.

[Adenius]

And some palindromes:

-Alli banged a cunt with a binder.
-Thirsty at eve (passive tense)
-Athlete, get down from Toni's forehead device.
-Excited bull
-Soap merchant
-Soap stone merchant
-Soap flower stone cake merchant
-These roll in to a hole
-Niki, knit again and you can have my beer also.
-Well, dark Anus, okay. Ratatatatatatatata. Willow grouses have been shot.
-Oh and yeah. Family pisses, Sepi washes, family pisses, Sepi washes, family pisses and drinks.
-Whe... jump jump jump jump jump jump jump jump jump ... whew.
-Ali; this this this this this this space.